Killing Ghosts | How To Not Get Ghosted Online (Article)

Modern dating apps can be a cesspool for emotionally unavailable millennials with commitment issues. Not commitment issues in terms of marriage or a home mortgage, no-no. Commitment issues like continuing a conversation when it requires more than 8 brain cells to develop an appropriate response. Or commitment issues like making plans for Friday with someone on Tinder but then your friends want to hang out so, whatever, it’s just some Bumble girl, just never talk to her again.

This leads to an exhausting string of matches-that-never-turned-into-dates, also known as “ghosts”. You might also be familiar with the ever-popular “orbiting” which occurs when someone stops talking to you before or after a first date but continues stalking your social media and watching all your stories.

It’s a strange time we live in, undoubtedly, with problems like these stopping great relationships from becoming real in their tracks. Not only having a negative impact on us and our potential love lives, but it’s making online dating sites a drain of time and energy, instead of using them for what they were intended…going on dates with great people you would have never had a chance to meet otherwise.

I’m as guilty as the next guy of the casual “ghosting” but I’ve committed to stop wasting people’s time and actually meet up with as many of my matches as possible. You, too can help out and put an end to ghosting. If you’re worried someone might ghost you, consider using the following opener:

“So, hey, I know this might be a bit forward, but do you wanna add each other on Snapchat and then never talk again?” ❤️


“So what do you think the chances are this conversation leads to a brief text exchange then we make plans to meet, follow each other on Snapchat and then never talk again?”

The other person will surely reply with something along the lines of “I’m not like that,” or “Not me!”

Essentially calling out the elephant in the room will cause the person on the other end to snap out of the regular routine and take you seriously. This will increase the chance you don’t get “ghosted” by 90%, provided you don’t screw up in a major way by making one of these crucial online dating attraction killers I talk about here.

Also, millennials, I know having hundreds of people want to match with you on a dating app is a real ego trip, but don’t match with someone if you don’t intend on meeting them. If we all do our part and make a real effort to meet up with our matches, we will all benefit from experiencing many more romantic relationships, and if nothing else, making cool friends. Even if that guy or gal you meet doesn’t end up being “the one”, maybe their best friend will be 😎.

Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

Happy swiping!

Your friend,

Ryan Cruise

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