Clinging to fantasies about the One Who Got Away can prevent you from meeting new people to date. One can seem closed off, not available. In a way, you are not available when that past dating relationship occupies too much space in your head and heart now.
Understanding what the one who got away represents, gives clarity in determining what is lacking in your life now. That relationship may remind you of happier, carefree days. You were younger without all of the current burdens and responsibilities. When we feel overwhelmed, it is natural for our minds to drift off into fantasyland of what might have been. Does that relationship conjure up fun and excitement that seems to have vanished in your life now? It does not always mean that you want the actual person back, but rather the circumstance surrounding that former relationship.
What did you learn from that relationship which can be brought into new ones? Perhaps it is having a sense of fun or someone who treats you respectfully. Examine the specific behavior or action that caused this break up. If she left you for someone else, then her interest level plummeted and it was over. If you drifted apart – analyze that situation so you can gain closure. We look at the past through rose colored glasses which can affect our sense of reality regarding a former relationship. It is hard for new dating partners to compete with a former flame, who has turned into a fantasy figure.
If you had a holiday fling and wonder if it could have been made permanent, rethink this situation. If it was meant to be, then there would have been communication between you two when the holiday was over. If stuck in the past and having difficulty letting it go, consider seeing a dating coach to get you back on track. A way to avoid dealing with present problems is to stay rooted in the past
Working on getting a more fulfilling life, diminishes daydreaming about a past love and keeping you from meeting someone new. Enlarging one’s social and professional networks brings interesting people into one’s sphere. Understanding why a relationship has continued to haunt us, is the key to exorcising it for good.